The Words Left Unsaid
by Leah C. Drawn
Summary: "Please, Isabella Swan, tell me you're fucking half as in love with me as I am with you. I need you to say it because I feel like I'll die right now if you don't. Tell me that you won't ever want anyone else, that you only ever dream about me, that you would fucking crumble to bits if I ever stopped loving you." BxE AH
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own up to any spelling mistakes.**

* * *

Bella Swan didn't give a shit.

Whenever she said this about herself, people either never quite believed her or thought she was just trying to be cool. The proof of how truthful this statement was could be seen whenever someone scoffed in her face about something she'd said or anything she'd done and all she did was stare. If she'd liked chewing gum, that would've been her cue to pop the thing in their faces and blink owlishly at them.

This sentiment could be corroborated by anyone who'd ever met her.

Charlie and Renée, her beloved parents, agonized over it because they couldn't guilt trip her into anything. Alice Brandon, her best friend, was always annoyed by this because she just nodded and smiled at her gossip. Angela and Jessica, her closest college friends, rejoiced in it, being too swamped in their own preoccupations to want more worries added onto them. Edward Cullen, her childhood-friend-turned-boyfriend, detested it with a passion.

Honestly? Her professors always thought she was high.

After the first two years of college she'd stopped trying to explain it was a matter of having no shits left to give.

This was the key matter in all of this: not giving a shit did _not_ mean she didn't _feel_ anything. She had feelings damn it, and people always acted like she was spooked of catching a smile. That she never argued over getting slammed in the hallway didn't mean that it hadn't hurt like a bitch, and getting a bad grade on a paper didn't mean it didn't sting. To her, not giving a shit simply meant she had the ability to not care about things undeserving of her rage, time or preoccupation.

Yeah, sometimes Bella confused even herself.

This reflection came about at one in the morning while driving home her drunk boyfriend.

* * *

 **~Rewind~**

"Bells, you coming to the party tonight?" Mike Newton slid up to Bella when he spotted her walking to her last Friday class.

There was a frat party being organized by Mike & Crew going on at Omega-whatever fraternity, and the football player was particularly fixed on the idea of having Bella over tonight. It wasn't like he didn't know she was together with _the_ Edward Cullen, quarterback extraordinaire; everyone knew, but truth be told, nobody really believed it. Bella disliked PDA (she didn't enjoy seeing it so she tried not doing it), and coupled with being in different classes with Edward, nobody ever saw them be affectionate. At most, sometimes they could be found with a whole gang of people eating in the cafeteria.

So this meant people like Mike Newton thought it was just a joke.

"Maybe," Bella shrugged. Really, she thought Newton was an ok kid, but he could be a little aggressive in his flirting. Not in the 'I feel unsafe' kind of way, more in the 'I'd appreciate it if I liked you back but I don't so go away'. "Did you ask Jess?"

She had the biggest crush on this boy next door, not that the doofus realized.

Bella was relentless in her attempt to get them together.

Mike nodded.

"She said she's in, and she gave her ok for Angela, Rose and Alice." Mike wiggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated way. "You in if your girls are?"

Bella sighed, stopping in her tracks.

"Yeah, I am. See you there Mike." Then he gave her a big smile and disappeared.

"See him where?" A voice whispered in her ear, and jumping slightly, she slapped behind her. "Fuck, Bells! That's my nose!"

Turning, she looked up to see her boyfriend holding both hands to a possibly sore nose.

"That's what you get for sneaking up on me," Bella shrugged, feeling a _little_ bad over hurting him. "I feel terrible," she said in monotone, and she cracked herself up.

Edward glared.

"Are you seriously laughing at your own joke?"

She pretended to pick lint off her jacket.

"My jokes are the bomb. It'd be weird if I didn't." Edward tried not to smile, but he couldn't help himself; Bella was incredibly funny, and her love for that monotone voice gave it an extra punch. His football buddies always asked him what he saw in Bella, not in a mean way but in a truly perplexed one; whenever he explained how much she made him laugh, they always stared. All they'd seen was a pretty girl with an unchanging face who barely spoke and had cracked one smile during the countless times they'd met her.

In her defense, she was always so focused on analyzing everything around her she often missed jokes.

"Anyway, you weird creature," Edward continued, for once not letting himself be sidetracked by his girlfriend's cuteness. "Where were you saying you're gonna be seeing Mike?"

"The party tonight."

"But you never go."

"I will today."

"But you hate them."

"Not today."

"I distinctly recall you never accepting a single frat party invitation in the two years we've been in college, saying everyone smells by the end of the night like puke, sweat and horniness," Edward frowned, not being able to understand her sudden change of heart.

"I can go out for a night," Bella said, taking up walking again. Sometimes she had a hard time multitasking, walking and talking included. So when she did one, she could forget to do the other. Coordination, mental or physical, was not her strong suit.

" _Why?_ "

Bella raised an eyebrow, looking up at Edward.

"Why not? You go all the time." Bella shrugged. "It could be fun."

Edward felt like a tiny version of himself wanted to run away from his mind. What the fuck did not even begin to describe what his inner self was thinking.

"Bella…" Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "I have known you for almost fifteen years. You have never, not once, willingly gone to a party. Not even when you were a kid and your dad got you your favorite cake in exchange for showing up agreeable to your parties. Hell, when I ask you to come with me to a football after-party you always say yes only _after_ I've agreed to buy you food afterwards."

She thought it was a fair deal.

Food for presence.

Bella sighed.

"People change," Bella explained. "I mean, not _me_ , but other people. I should get to know their new selves, right?"

Edward didn't know how she did it, but she managed to be a terrible and yet incredibly amazing liar at the same time.

"Remind me why I love you," Edward sulked.

"I'm amazeballs," she shrugged, and though Edward tried hard to hold onto his annoyance, his lips twitched in amusement. "You're going too, right?"

"Uh, yeah. I mean, Emmett invited me, so…"

Ah, Emmett. Twin to her boyfriend and bane of her existence.

Kidding. Bella and Emmett appeared to be more like boyfriend and girlfriend than the actual couple sometimes, something that pissed off both Edward and Rosalie Hale, bombshell mechanic, to no end.

"Why am I not surprised? He drinks like he needs it in his bloodstream," Bella rolled her eyes good-naturedly, choosing her words carefully. She didn't really like it when Emmett drank that way, but whenever she brought it up the twins made a big deal about it.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that's the drink of champions," Edward chuckled, glancing behind him briefly. He seemed to be searching for something, but what Bella could only guess.

"How you holding up? Your classes too hard?"

Bella shrugged nah.

"You sure? You have a tendency to suddenly be overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you've got to do. You might want to apply that new capacity of change to your studies and do stuff with enough time for a change." Edward said, pointedly looking at the accused. Offended, Bella thought to defend herself, only to come up short of excuses. He was right. She sighed. "That's what I thought."

Bella mumbled something to herself, startled when they were suddenly in front of her classroom. She looked up at her giant of a boyfriend, expecting him to make another comment on the party thing, but instead he just grabbed her hand, squeezed and released it.

"I've gotta get to class baby. See you later."

Bella watched her boyfriend drop a kiss on her head, step back and walk away.

Going into class (one she ignored the whole time, absently copying the slides passing in front of her) she thought about her relationship with the one Edward Anthony Cullen. Growing up, everyone thought she'd end up dating Emmett, the one that seemed to balance out her sourness best. She'd always been friends with Emmett —first day of kindergarten they were joined at the hip. She tolerated Edward back then, never outright disliking him but certainly never picking him as a partner for anything. Edward had only earned a place in her heart when Felix, the local fifth grade bully, tried tripping her and got shoved instead by a fuming Edward. He got detention and a free pass to her heart.

Her _friendzone_ heart.

Being brutally honest, Edward had been on the same emotional attachment level as Alice for Bella up until junior year of high school. She'd had a crush on Riley Biers for the longest of times, and then when Riley appeared as if he'd return her feelings, she got blindsided by Edward admitting to being hopelessly in love with her.

She had _not_ been expecting that.

She'd known Edward knew this, given that her eyes had peeled wide open and her entire face had displayed 'clueless' in neon letters. She'd tried, even as shock coursed through her, to not do or say anything that would hurt her best friend, the guy that had had to bear with her sobs when her period had come for the first time and she'd thought someone had decided to land an elephant on her uterus. He wasn't one of the girls, but he'd certainly never been a _boy_. And there he'd been, looking at her with those wide green eyes hidden by the ugliest glasses ever, and she hadn't known what to say for once in her life.

It took him a year to break her down; first to make her see him that way, then make her want to date him, then convince her it wouldn't ruin their friendship if they broke up, then assure her they _wouldn't_ break up, and finally that he was _sure_ he liked her. She'd had one boyfriend before, during freshman year, but that had ended within half a year; when she'd looked back on it, Edward's constant glares hadn't helped.

Edward and Bella had started dating within the first month of college.

It had been slow progress for sure. It had taken them a while to have their first date; Edward had football practice, his biology major and pre-med courses, and she had her classes as well as volunteer work. So it had taken about a month to have their first date, then another one to have their first kiss. Their firsts had gone slowly that way, until it had taken their first time together a year. It had been awful, painful, and magical; Bella had realized then that she wouldn't have chosen anyone else to have her first time with other than Edward. He was it for her, her body had told her. The ensuing times together had _more_ than confirmed it.

She knew she was emotionally congested though. Edward was always sending sweet texts, or telling her he'd blow off a class to go have lunch with her, open every door and never push for sex when she'd been clear her head wasn't in it. She saw all of this and appreciated it immensely —Hell, whenever he talked her ear off about football or the latest comic book issue of whichever series, she was charmed. She loved how verbose he was where she was taciturn (her father's gift), and how he never asked her to talk more like the rest of the people in her life. Even her relationship with Emmett was based on doing activities together and occasionally confiding in each other, more than _talking_. She only ever wanted a handful of people to know her, but she only wanted Edward to _get_ her.

So in answer to why she suddenly felt like going to the party:

Because of Edward.

It had been brought to her attention that she was, as previously stated, emotionally congested. That for every football gathering she attended, Edward took her to three different museums across the state because that's what she was into. That for every game she attended, Edward took her out to five different restaurants (read: fast food chains) so they could see each other during the weekdays. That for every friend of his she agreed to socialize with, he remembered fifteen stories of her volunteer work kids, and said kids switched every month or so. That for every "I love you" he whispered in her ear after sex, she'd whispered none back.

Indeed.

Isabella Swan was _that_ person; the one who took everything from their partner but couldn't fucking say they loved them.

It wasn't that she didn't —God knew she did— but it never felt like the right time to bring it up. Like, nothing she ever did was special enough to bring up something so huge. She'd only ever told her _parents_ she loved them, and it was directly linked to every time _they_ had said it first.

Bella was an awful person, or at least so said Alice.

With friends like hers, she could do with an enemy or two.

Still, she wanted to change. She wanted to give a lot more to Edward, and in all her search for inner wisdom she'd figured something important to him was those parties. Edward liked socializing, always had, and he often made an effort to go to these things. She'd indeed never gone to a single one, always preferring a night out with the girls or even the occasional pool night with Emmett (who was a partygoer but also into those games). Sometimes, when she was feeling wild, she went to bed at seven pm.

Despite how boring she was sure she sounded to others, this was the life that made her happy. She didn't like partying and drinking and getting high, although she didn't fault those who did. She just sought different things out of life, things she wasn't sure were at the bottom of a keg.

Besides; she had issues with alcohol.

More on that later.

So after that unimportant class, Bella rushed over to her dorm, where she proceeded to attempt to knock down Alice's door.

A pissed off tiny young adult answered, and her face changed to bewilderment when she realized the panic came from the unmovable rock that was Bella.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

She pushed past her friend.

"Make me hot, Alice."

Alice Brandon swore she was having an auditory and visual hallucination, so she replied in kind.

" _How?_ "

When the shoe thrown at her hurt she realized it was real.

"What the fuck, Bella? You want me to make you _hot_?" Alice asked in bewilderment. "You, who own about thirty pairs of granny panties and _exactly_ one thong. You, Bella, who once went a whole summer just shaving _one_ leg because you wanted to see how quickly your leg hair grew. You want me to make you hot?"

Bella raised an eyebrow.

"I _do_ have a certain level of self-esteem I'd like to maintain, Alice."

Right.

For how much Alice talked about Bella's sensibleness, hers sometimes took dives off a cliff.

"Alright, sorry. Why?"

Bella shrugged.

"I've been thinking about what you said. That I should make an effort for Edward—"

"I believe I said, get your shit together."

"—and do more things for him. So, I figured I'd go with him to a party." Bella shrugged, then frowned to herself. "I think. I didn't exactly tell him to go together, but I figure I'll see him there."

To her surprise, Alice seemed to disagree.

"First of all, this is proof that not all 4.0 GPA students are smart. That's _not_ what I meant; frat parties aren't a couple-thing." Alice sighed, finally closing the door behind her. "Also… maybe you shouldn't."

Huh?

"Why?"

Alice pursed her lips, not knowing if she should answer.

"Alice. Please," Bella said softly, sitting down at the edge of her friend's bed.

So Alice complied.

"Edward can… exceed his alcohol drinking sometimes. I'm not sure you've ever seen him drunk."

No, she hadn't. A bit happy during Christmas or New Years, at most, but that was it. He knew how she felt about too much alcohol. Didn't he?

"How bad?"

Alice flinched.

"It's something only you can say. But… I don't think it'll be a good idea. Every time I see him drunk at a party Jasper or Emmett have to hide him away from the world. He's… well. You'll see," Alice grimaced, thinking back to one of the multiple occasions. She wished Bella wouldn't see her boyfriend that way, but she doubted that she'd be able to convince the thickheaded girl.

"Alice, you're freaking me out," Bella said, and though her face was the same as always, Alice caught the underlying quiver in her voice.

She sighed.

"I wish it was me being dramatic."

L0¬

 **You at your dorm?** —E

 **Yeah.** —B

There was no new message, which made Bella frown. Did this mean Edward would come by, or did that mean 'cool, see you later then'? Edward was usually a lot clearer about the direction of his comments or questions, and this vagueness was uncharacteristic.

In true Bella fashion though, she just got a head start on an assignment while she waited for his answer to come around.

 _Knock knock._

There was her answer. Bella knew her boyfriend well enough to be sure that, outside of her door, was the boy raised to be a gentleman.

So she called out for him to wait, dusted off some chips from her dress and got up to answer.

"You rang?" she opened that door with her best Lurch impression.

Edward, who'd opened his mouth to speak, instantly closed it again. Then repeated this a few times.

"Yes, Edward, it's me, the woman you call your girlfriend." Bella glanced behind him quickly, then pulled him into her room. She was actually rooming with Angela, but given how little of the girl she saw, it was basically hers, so she didn't worry about privacy.

"You put on makeup."

Nod.

" _And_ a dress."

Double nod.

" _And_ you're showing your boobs."

Smirk.

" _And_ you shaved _both_ legs."

Her smile slipped. She'd never live that down, would she?

"I might prove you wrong next time if you keep assuming that." Bella sniffed, but wasn't ready for the sudden movement of a quarterback slamming her onto the bed. "Edward?"

It came out as a squeak due to the lack of air.

"We should just stay in. We haven't done that in a while, right? How long as it been anyway since we had sex?"

Smooth, dude.

But even smoother was she.

"Sixteen days and three hours." Bella replied, trying to breathe through the man resting almost all of his weight on top of her. Because Edward couldn't help himself, and to save the woman he loved, he scooted off of her so he was laying on his side, resting his chin on his hand with his eyes in direct eye line with Bella's.

"That's and _four_ hours," he corrected. "Remember? We kept getting interrupted."

The perks of going home for the weekend.

"Pardon me, young sir." Bella nodded mockingly serious, reaching a hand up to softly caress the bags under his eyes. He'd been under a lot of stress lately, saying all of his professors had suddenly lost it and left him an almost impossible workload to do throughout the month. He was a few days from being done with that, but Bella knew just how taxing it was on him.

But.

"Still, I got all done up. Alice's hard work shouldn't go to waste," Bella said absentmindedly, running her fingers down to his cheeks, where stubble was already growing. She figured he didn't bother shaving today.

"So it wasn't just for me?" Edward poured, and when Bella imitated an emoji and just held up an arm bent at the elbow and a hand out flat, head slightly cocked to the side, he chuckled. Of course it had been, her eyes said, but also for herself.

"Tell me why you want to go to the party babe," Edward said, index finger trailing circles on her exposed sternum. Bella hummed, enjoying the sensation.

"I'll tell you later," Bella said, the face of innocence with her hair making a halo around her and the always-calm expression on her face. "Also, I heard something."

"Mm?" Edward lazily frowned at her, hung up on his lack of answer.

"Tanya."

Ah, yes.

Tanya.

* * *

 **Intermission**

Tanya Denali was the bane of Bella's existence. The _real_ one. Life was good when she was gone and sucked when she was within thirty feet from her. She was mean, overdid her makeup every time and had been trying to fuck Edward since he shot ip a foot and a half in high school and gained a six pack from football. And even though Bella certainly appreciated having a muscled, tall boyfriend, she hadn't looked at him differently because of it —it had taken a confession of love and a year for her to truly appreciate those characteristics.

Tanya has transferred into high school during sophomore year, just a bit before Edward's transformation. She'd done everything she could to swipe him off his feet, and apparently, before he'd built up the courage to tell Bella his feelings, he'd slept with her. This confession had come across back when they were building up to their first time having sex; Edward had tried reassuring Bella about something or other, and in the process it had slipped that he'd done it before. Inquiries had led him to admit what had gone down at the end of their sophomore year.

 _"_ _So… you slept with Tanya?"_

 _"_ _I did."_

 _"_ _Alright."_

Bella hadn't known back then how to react. She'd always disliked the girl; from the way she dressed to the way she treated others, Bella had found it extremely hard to find any redeeming quality in her classmate. Then, when Tanya had started picking on her (given that she was the girl closest to the Cullen brothers), Edward had stopped reacting after a while. It would've been nice if he'd defended her, but it was kinda hard to stick up for someone who seemed to not give a fuck.

And she hadn't. She really hadn't cared Tanya tripped her once or twice and had spread a rumor about her being a lesbian. Shit like that didn't phase her; what _did_ , however, matter, was that Edward had slept with the girl who would've stuck bubblegum to her hair if Alice hadn't seen the bitch in time.

Digressing. Edward's confession of lack of virginity had led them to a cold war —because _he_ got mad. Apparently, 'alright' hadn't been the right answer. He'd claimed she didn't care about him, that he was thankful she didn't blow things out of proportion but that it would be nice to get _some_ reaction every once in a while. This in turn had made Bella angry, who told him she wasn't going to change just because they were dating. That if she'd cared she wouldn't have been able to have sex with him, thinking of Tanya every moment of them doing it.

 _"_ _I'm sad I won't be your first," Bella had told him. "But I care far more about_ who _your first was."_

Edward hadn't known what to say. Yeah, he'd known Tanya annoyed Bella (everyone did), but he hadn't known how to explain that he'd slept with her _before_ the kind-of-bullying. It was only _after_ the fact that Tanya had started trying to alienate the friends. So he hadn't been sure how to reply to Bella's statement, given that she'd admitted to caring about something other than school or her mom.

The argument had ended a few days later with Edward explaining the timeline and (truthfully) assuring her he had never been inclined again to have sex with the mean girl and that if he'd known she'd been so hurt by Tanya's actions, he would've done more to defend her.

Bella, hugging him tightly, had wondered if it should've been necessary to say she'd been hurt by actions clearly meant to wound her.

Had she really convinced the world she was made of steel?

 **End intermission**

* * *

"What about her?" Edward groaned, pulling back his hand and laying on his back.

"Well, I heard that she'd been invited to the party." Bella said casually. "This is your friendly reminder that if she tries talking to me, I cannot be held accountable for my actions."

He sighed.

"How many times do I have to apologize for sleeping with her?"

"You say that as if you ever did," Bella muttered to herself, sighing as well. "And it's not like you have to. I'm just saying."

Edward was silent for a moment.

"What is it?" Bella frowned.

"Well… it's not the first time she's gone to one of these. Her college's not that far away," Edward admitted. "I never told you because I didn't think you'd like it. You always get all weird when she's brought up.

"I don't—" Bella started, but Edward's glare out of the corner of his eye stopped her. "—get _too_ weird."

He snorted.

"Really, why are we even talking about her? I always get upset and you always get all riled up. Can't we talk about something else?"

This was a habit Edward had that really irked her. Whenever they talked about a subject he didn't like he was very quick to change the subject, but if it was a subject she didn't like, _he_ always pushed like there was no tomorrow. She wanted to relieve some of the bad feelings inside her, but he could never manage to pull through. It was hard.

"Yeah, ok," Bella sighed, sitting up. "I'll be right back. I forgot to get a nicer sweater from Alice."

She tried moving, but a very hard grip held onto her wrist. Frowning, she looked back to see her quarterback boyfriend scowling.

"What, seriously? You're just gonna leave?"

Glancing at him with that expressionless face of hers, she pried his fingers off.

"I'm not leaving, Edward. I'm going for a sweater."

Bella shook him off, glancing at the time on her alarm clock.

"We should leave in like ten minutes if we want to find a good parking spot."

Then she walked out.

Fuming.

The first, second, third, hell, _tenth_ time it happened she hadn't cared. She hadn't batted an eyelash at him so brusquely refusing to talk about something. But after two years, it was getting old. He'd also done it when they were just friends, but they'd been just that— friends. Now, it felt like he kept shutting her out of a part of his life.

Pondering these things, she didn't see ahead of her and crashed into a wall.

Well, kinda.

A human one.

"Woah, Bells, you alright?" a voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and smiling, she found her spirit being immediately lifted by Jacob Black.

Jake had been her boyfriend during freshman year of high school. He was nice, funny, and a chill boy. Back then, they'd been awkward teenagers that hadn't known how to date and having Bella's best friend always lurking and glaring hadn't helped Jake be firmer on his feelings. They'd drifted apart, until eventually, four years of high school went by with them just saying hi to each other in the hallways. As luck would have it, they ended up in the same dorm, but they saw each other so little Bella hardly ever thought about it.

Now was one of the times when she did.

"Jake, hi!" Bella pulled back to look up at the mammoth of a man in front of her. Being from the reservation, he'd always used his hair long, but when he entered college he cut it off, claiming he wanted a change. His looks had always been nice, but this way, he was _cute_. The dimpled smile and Colgate teeth were detrimental, too.

" _Well_ , someone looks ready to party," Jake gave her an easygoing smile, looking her up and down. "Going to Newton's?"

She nodded.

"Well, that's surprising. I would've thought you'd rather swallow a snail than go to one, but it seems like time has changed you," Jake winked. "You look good Bells. Still going strong with Cullen?"

Bella blinked.

"Yeah?"

He chuckled.

"Let me guess. You fought?" She gave him a sheepish smile. "Don't worry about that. It'll figure itself out."

Bella let her shoulders sag.

"Yeah, I hope you're right. I'm just very…" she took a moment to think it through. "…angry right now."

He barked out a laugh.

"Yeah? Murderous or nah?"

She rolled her eyes. It _was_ kinda hard to tell she was pissed, but she was damn it.

"How do you and Nessie usually resolve your fights?" Bella asked, referring to Vanessa, his recently-acquired girlfriend. Jake hummed, thinking about it.

"One of us apologizes, and that's it. We haven't been together long enough to really fight, so that's all I can give you." Jake said apologetically, as though it was _his_ fault he had a good relationship. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Hey, remember the one fight we had when we dated?"

Her lips twitched into a grin.

"You mean the one where I was totally right?"

He chortled.

" _You_? Bells, no one should desecrate pizza that way!"

They had really and truly fought because Bella couldn't help eating pizza by layers (first toppings, then cheese, then the bread), and Jake had refused to even _watch_ her do it. One thing had led to another until they were in a screaming match in the middle of the pizzeria listing the advantages of eating pizza the way they did. It was, quite frankly, the stupidest fight Bella had ever been on.

"Excuse me, but—"

"Bella?"

She seriously couldn't help it, but the second she heard Edward's voice her smile slipped. The worst part was that she was sure Edward would be able to tell because of her position, and the furious set to his brows was confirmation enough.

"Edward," Bella said tightly. "Remember Jake? He used to be smaller than you."

Shooting her an amused glance, Jacob just nodded at Edward.

"Hey man. Long time no see." He smiled despite the other guy's furious glare. "Great game last weekend. Saw you on TV."

Edward nodded rigidly.

"Thanks Jacob. I didn't know you go to U-Dub," Edward said, his glare now aimed at his girlfriend, who was purposefully not looking at him.

"Really? I see Bella around all the time," Jake shrugged, and Bella shot him panicked eyes. When his lip twitched, she realized the little shit had done it on purpose.

" _Really?_ " Edward's tone elevated a couple of pitches. "Bella did _not_ mention that."

"The good thing is we all have our health," Bella nodded seriously, looking at her imaginary watch. "Oh, would you look at that? Jake, didn't you say you had that thing you were going to do?"

He raised an eyebrow, amused.

"You mean laundry?" He pointed at the basket at his feet.

"Yes, you smell already. Good thinking," Bella nodded quickly. "Come on Edward, let's go. Jake's gonna stink up the hallway otherwise."

She grabbed her boyfriend's hand and sprinted the way she'd come, shooting back wide eyes at her ex, who was desperately trying not to burst out laughing.

When she'd safely returned Edward to her room, she suddenly snapped her fingers.

"Cheese on a cracker, I forgot to get my sweater. I'll go get it."

Edward physically blocked her way out.

"I offer you one massage after practice for a week in exchange for not having this fight."

When Edward didn't immediately reply, Bella looked up with hopefulness clear all over her face, only to have it viciously crushed the moment her eyes met with unadulterated fury.

"You mean to tell me Jacob Black, your only ex-boyfriend, has been living in the same dorm as you and it never occurred to you to _tell_ me?"

Bella pursed her lips.

"Talking is not my strong suit," she offered, but the answering stare told her it wasn't the right answer. "I forgot?"

It was the closest thing to the truth. It'd been important enough for her to make a note of, but not so much she'd talk about it. The first weekend she went back home after college she'd told her mom just to have a thing to talk about, but that was as far as it had gone.

"You… _forgot_?" Edward's jaw dropped. "You, the woman who still remembers the fucking _day_ you saw me eat my boogers when I was five?"

November 13th.

Bella sighed.

"I dated him five years ago, Edward. I _forgot_. Not that he lived here, obviously, but to tell you. It wasn't intentional," she narrowed her eyes then, suddenly remembering. "Just like a certain _someone_ hadn't told me they'd seen Tanya Denali at frat parties until today."

Edward pressed his lips together tightly.

" _I_ never liked Tanya."

"Well, _I_ never fucked Jacob." Bella said, crossing her arms over her chest. The proof of Edward's anger was that he didn't even glance at how the movement pushed up her boobs.

"Yeah, well, if something's clear then it's that obviously _you_ only fuck those you _don't_ like."

She slapped him.

Bella wasn't a violent person; fuck, she was hardly an emotions person, so she wasn't prone to have outbursts or act on her feelings.

There was a moment of so much silence that they would've heard a pin drop from three rooms away. Edward just held his cheek, and Bella just stared at him in disbelief.

Then, after swallowing loudly, Bella spoke.

"Say that again."

He looked down at his feet, hand still over the stinging skin.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because…" he swallowed hard, his mouth dry. His heart was pounding so loudly he barely heard himself over it. "That was mean."

He heard sniffling, and horrified, he looked up.

Bella was crying.

 _Bella_.

"Yeah, it was." She whispered. "You should go now."

"But—"

"Please, Edward," Bella said, her throat closing up. She pleaded with him while looking directly into his eyes, letting him see how much pain he'd caused her. "All we do is fight lately. I can't seem to do anything right by you, or react right, or _be_ right. I just need a b—"

Edward shot a hand out to shut her up, eyes wide with freight.

"I'll go, Bella. Don't say anything else. _Don't_." He emphasized, letting his hand drop. Face tired, he approached her to drop a kiss on top of her head. "I'm sorry I've been such a shit lately, love. And for what it's worth, you look extra beautiful tonight, and I'm sorry I made you waste the look."

Then, without looking at her, Edward left.

* * *

Leaving Bella's dorm, Edward headed back to his apartment with his heart galloping at fifty miles an hour. He was upset, and anxious, and angry as fuck.

First, every bone in his body was on edge about the words he'd stopped Bella from uttering. He _needed_ Bella like he needed no one else, not even his own twin. Even when they didn't see each other, he always knew she had his back and that if he sent her a silly text she'd always reply. That he'd upset the one woman on earth he loved more than life itself was worrisome, especially given how rare her being upset was. He was the mercurial one of the two; he got angry and happy, upset and content, sad and ecstatic with ease. He was the one always hounding Bella with his feelings, always demanding her to say how she felt about him. Because God knew she showed it —before every game she'd always make him a batch of chocolate chip cookies and hide them in his room so Emmett, being his flatmate and resident endless barrel, wouldn't inhale them. When the coach ripped him a new one in front of the guys, Bella always made sure to play up her sex appeal for the next game to make sure the guys didn't forget Edward was _still_ a lucky son of a bitch. If he was having trouble with finishing a reading assignment Bella would make him a quick summary if he just mentioned in passing his stress. Every time he called off one of their dates because he had to study or had a reposition class Bella would just rearrange her schedule so she'd get her own assignments out of the way, ready to accommodate herself to his workload. If he was dead on his feet after practice she'd offer to give him a massage. However many times Edward got all jealous of some dude whose name Bella didn't even know she only rolled her eyes at his intensity and left it at that. If Edward got angry, and he was in the wrong, she never demanded an apology before making up, even though whenever _he_ got angry she apologized sincerely. Most of the time he was swamped in shit to do, moody and demanding. She never complained.

It's what made him, in turn, so damn insufferable lately.

Bella never asked for anything except food. Every once in a while he'd take her to museums or new libraries, but that was it. No demands, no requests, nada. Being relied upon so little was torture, given that he wanted to gift her the moon and the stars if he could. Often (more than he'd like) he wondered if Bella had only agreed to date him so he'd give up his pursuit; for him, it had _always_ been her. Bella had never given indication that it wouldn't do if it wasn't Edward; that she'd be sad if they broke up. That she'd care if her relationship, not their friendship, ended. She hardly ever told him she liked him, and had _certainly_ never told him she loved him in their almost two years together.

And God did he love her. Enough to say stupid shit because his heart got away from his brain. He'd wanted her to tell him 'what are you talking about? I have sex with you and I _love_ you Edward' but obviously his heart did not know how logic worked. Saying hurtful, stupid shit got you slapped; not saying it conserved his relationship much better.

So he was upset that he'd upset Bella, and angry about the Jacob thing. Seeing her, smiling and talking with him so naturally, had momentarily flashed him back to freshman year in high school, watching the girl he loved from afar as she flashed brilliant smiles at the boy she liked. Then she'd turned to him and frowned, and this had crushed him inside; perhaps, his heart said, she _still_ liked him. Perhaps she didn't care about what Edward did or said because she had someone else whose words and actions she _did_ care about.

Still, he was terrified to think Bella might be presently considering breaking up with him. He wasn't one to speak rashly (not even on the football field, and _certainly_ not out of anger) but tonight something had bubbled out of him. Madness, most likely. He knew no excuse he gave would ever be good enough, and the hopeful part of him wanted to think Bella would use as proof of character their lifetime together instead of his mistake. In searching reassurance of her feelings, he'd hurt her, and he'd be sure to make it up to both of them if she let him.

"Yo, sourpuss, you coming right?" Emmett was suddenly in his face, startling Edward. Somehow he'd managed to drive back to his apartment and get out of the car to the front of his apartment without really recalling the in between. He was presently looking from one psyched Emmett Cullen to the chill Jasper Whitlock.

"Don't think so, Em. Not feeling up to it," Edward said, and something about his expression must've alerted his twin to the truthfulness in his words.

"Ed, what's wrong?" Emmett frowned, following his brother into their apartment, Jasper in tow. "Did something happen?"

Edward collapsed on the couch.

"Bella might break up with me." He declared, and the two other boys were so shocked they weren't sure that he was kidding or not. "I literally shut her up to stop her from saying she would."

"Nah man, she can't. She loves you."

Edward barked out a laugh.

"She tell you that? Cause she certainly hasn't shared that information with _me_." He glared up at their surprised faces. "Yes, we've been dating for a year and eleven months and she's yet to tell me she loves me."

Assholes, making him say it out loud.

"You're yanking my chain," Jasper drawled, disbelieving.

"Nope."

"Alice and I said I love you _two months_ into our relationship."

"I told Rosie I loved her since she fixed my Bertie," Emmett input. "Remember? The day we met."

Edward frowned.

" _I've_ told Bella I love her."

His brother and best friend flinched for him.

"And she still hasn't…?" Edward shook his head. His twin plopped down beside him, put an arm behind his back and stared into the distance. Jasper followed suit, plopping down to his right. Emmett shook his head. "Man, that's rough."

Edward was so glad he had a twin he could rely on for moral support.

"Hasn't Bella said anything to you?" Edward asked, knowing it was a futile question. Bella never talked about her feelings with anyone, probably not even with herself.

"Nah man, me and Bella don't really _confide_ much anymore. She thinks I'll run to you if she tells me something about your relationship. Smart girl." Emmett shrugged, truthful as ever. "We haven't seen much of each other either lately anyway."

"You know who might know?" Jasper asked rhetorically. "Alice."

Edward groaned.

"Whitlock, you know I love your girlfriend, but she's Team Bella all the way. No way she's ever telling me, even if she did know."

Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Hey, it's not Ali's fault you got the equivalent to an emotional safety box for a girlfriend. _You_ should be the one asking Bella directly how she feels."

Yeah, yeah.

"Bella's not a safety box," Edward snapped, despite it all needing to defend his girl. "She's more like an oyster; usually open but snaps when it closes."

He tried?

More like, he didn't _need_ to explain to them. Emmett was an ass, but he more than most people understood just how amazing Bella was. She didn't know this, but she had very expressive eyes; if something bothered her or excited her they instantly reflected it. It's just that most people weren't particularly observant; in Edward's case, he sometimes focused so much on what she _didn't_ say that he forgot what she showed.

"You suck," Jasper said helpfully. "If she breaks up with you, it's all your fault."

Edward's jaw dropped. This guy was _just_ as vicious as Alice!

"Dude," Emmett shook his head pitifully. "I can't even tell you I understand. Rosie's pretty vocal about _her_ feelings, so I really can't imagine. You're on your own."

Edward sulked.

"Fucking _go_ , you assholes. You're making me feel even shittier."

But the two of them grabbed hold of an arm and tugged him up.

"You're coming with us to the party. You need adult supervision and a drink or five." Emmett said, clapping his back. "End of discussion."

* * *

At half past midnight Bella got a call from a worried Jasper, who claimed Edward was shit-faced and both he and Emmett had drunk one too many beers to drive him home. Besides, Emmett was staying the night at Rosalie's, which was within walking distance of the party. He was rideless, basically.

"How drunk is he?" Bella asked worriedly.

"He's for real crawled into a corner to cry. I even took a snap for remembrance." Jasper chuckled, amused despite himself.

Rolling her eyes, Bella promised she'd be right there.

Walking into a party, Bella was glad she hadn't changed out of her party outfit. She blended right in, and the outfit didn't go to waste, even though she'd washed off her makeup.

However, just when she had Jasper within viewing distance, a body stepped in front of her. It was Tyler Crowley, the linebacker for the football team and shit for brains that couldn't take a hint. Bella hated him since he'd grabbed her ass while walking out of a class freshman year. After she'd told Edward, Tyler had somehow broken an arm mid football season during practice. Edward's self-satisfied grin had told her he'd had more than a little something to do with it.

"Little Swan," Crowley drawled, clearly drunker than most people in the place. "You showed up!"

Bella didn't reply.

"What's the matter, Swan? Cat got your tongue?" He leered, stumbling when he made to move closer to her. "You look _hot_ , girl. For me?"

"No," she finally said, gritting her teeth in fury.

"Really? Then for who?" He pretended looking around. "You mean… for _Cullen_? That little pussy that's crying in the corner?"

Bella's fists clenched at her sides, and she was sure she drew blood from where her nails dug into her palms.

"Watch your mouth, Crowley. That's my boyfriend you're talking about."

It was the most she'd ever bothered saying to him.

But this only spurred him on.

" _Really_? Because rumor has it you've got Cullen on a leash with what could only be a magic p—"

He was cut off by Edward slamming a fist into his stomach.

"You piece of shit, Crowley." Was all Edward said. He had some incredible skulking off powers, so before Bella had realized what was going on she was being dragged off by the hand somewhere else. They scurried off between moving bodies until they were outside of the house, breathing blessedly fresh air. Edward was visibly shaking in anger, most of the alcohol in his system probably evaporated. He hadn't let go of Bella's hand, just focused on breathing in and out.

Finally, she heard him gulp.

"Did he do anything else to you?" He asked, not turning to look at her. Heart suddenly beating again, she shook her head.

"He didn't."

His shoulders relaxed.

"Thank God," he sighed, then turned and grabbed his girlfriend in a fierce hug. "I'd get charged for what I'd do to him if he ever touched you again."

Bella wanted to tell Edward to calm down, that it hadn't been as bad some of the things he'd said to her before. That it wasn't that big a deal even though he'd tried humiliating her. That she was more concerned about how much he reeked of alcohol. But she didn't; she was so relieved that Edward had been her knight in shining armor that she just held him back just as tightly.

"I was so scared," Bella finally choked out, and the shock of hearing her admittance made Edward loosen his grip so he could back up and see her face. She was red, looking like she'd cry if given the right incentive.

"I'm so sorry, baby. If I hadn't gotten so drunk you wouldn't have had to come here—"

She shut him up.

"No."

The quiet but strong word was charged with words unsaid. Edward, in his inebriated state, heard it:

What if you'd gotten into a drunk person's car? What if I'd lost you like I lost my dad?

Two months ago Charlie Swan had gone with Harry Clearwater to fish by the docks, and without realizing, Harry had knocked back one too many beers. Being sober, Charlie had been adamant that he'd be driving; then, while on the highway, Harry had thought it'd be funny to grab hold of the steering wheel, driving the car into the other lane.

Harry made it.

Charlie didn't.

"Alright," Edward said softly. "We should go before Crowley comes out, love."

Holding her hand tightly, Edward and Bella walked to her monster truck in silence. Bella's heart was still pounding, and Edward was absorbed in thoughts of what to say.

The clock struck one in the morning when the car pulled out of the frat house.

* * *

 **~Play~**

* * *

"I miss him, you know," Bella suddenly said, surprising Edward.

"Of course you do. He was your dad. Is."

Bella shrugged.

"It was more than that. He was…" Bella tried explaining, but when words failed her, she stopped trying. "People think I don't care though. Like I didn't lose my father."

Edward stayed silent.

"You know I care, though. So why haven't you acted like it?" Bella asked, her lip quivering in the effort it took her not to cry. "Why haven't you asked if I'm alright?"

Edward slumped down on his seat.

"I just didn't want to be told again you were 'fine', like you always do. It's like a kick in the shin every time I ask you to tell me how you feel and you don't tell me." Edward admitted. "It's not that I want you to always offer up the information —that's not you. But you shut me out, and I didn't want to get hurt over you not telling me you were sad Charlie's gone."

Bella was quiet for a few minutes, focusing on some sharp turns she needed to focus on.

When she did speak, Edward wished she hadn't.

"I feel like a part of me's gone," she mumbled out. "I wake up crying almost every night, reliving the call I got from mom."

They'd been at the beach when the news had come in. It was the only thing Edward had been thankful for; he'd been there to catch her when it seemed as though she'd let the waves take her.

Still, her admission meant he'd been so _gone_ these two months he didn't fucking know how badly the scars in her heart were. It meant that he didn't know her as well as he thought, and that while she'd been crumbling, she'd also been holding him up. That while his rage had been building in the last month over not hearing three stupid words, she needed them being told to her more than ever. Of course he knew she'd be grieving, but sometimes stupid things seemed much bigger.

Edward had never felt more selfish in his life than right then.

So, the alcohol totally out of his system, he cried. He cried so much that Bella rushed the remaining five minutes to get him to his apartment, thinking it was the alcohol. She helped him out of the car and into his flat, where the second the door closed he had dropped to his knees, bawling at her feet.

"Edward? My God, what's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?"

She dropped beside him, confused and scared, wondering if she'd have to drive him to the hospital and already making arrangements in her head.

Head bowed in shame, Edward finally replied

"I'm so fucking _selfish_ , Bella," Edward cried. "I didn't realize, don't you see? I was all bent out of shape because of stupid as shit reasons, and your father— and yet you—"

Bella let him grab a tight hold of her, his wet eyes sticking to her neck.

"You did a lot for me," Bella shushed him, running a hand through his hair. "You've done more than anyone else."

And he had. No one had known how to react when the old chief of police had died, and when Bella had gone to the first day of school, despite it having been only a week since Charlie's death, they'd assumed she'd been holding up alright. And though Edward hadn't known just how long her hurt had gone on, he'd been going back home with Bella every single weekend, just to make sure Renée didn't feel alone. _That_ woman was a wreck, and Bella couldn't bare leaving her alone. If he had practice on a Friday night (which he usually did) he'd go home on Saturday, stay with his parents and drive the two of them back to college on Sunday. He'd known she'd always withdraw a little bit into herself on Sundays, but Edward couldn't remember a day Bella hadn't reacted that way after being forced to be with her hyperactive mother a whole weekend.

For how smart he was, Edward was also incredibly stupid.

"I didn't," Edward gasped out, his hands finding purchase in Bella's long hair; he tugged almost painfully, then released it, rearranging his head so he was looking away from Bella's neck. "Why are you even with someone like me? I'm such a fuck-up for a boyfriend Bella. I'm not considerate like you, or kind, or—"

Bella stopped him right there.

"Edward, if I felt like I could find someone better, I'd have never started dating you in the first place," Bella chided. "Now stop. It's late, and we should head to bed."

Edward gripped her even harder and pushed forward until he was lying on top of Bella, lower bodies joined tightly together and his elbows holding off most of his weight.

"Tell me you love me," he begged hoarsely, searching her eyes desperately. Needing her to not only say it but _mean_ it. Bella didn't reply, choosing instead to bring up a hand to cup his jaw. It was sticky with his tears, and it tugged at her heartstrings. Edward sobbed and tears splashed down on her face. "Please, Isabella Swan, tell me you're fucking half as in love with me as I am with you. I _need_ you to say it because I feel like I'll die right now if you don't. Tell me that you won't ever want anyone else, that you only ever dream about me, that you would fucking _crumble_ to bits if I ever stopped loving you."

 _Tell me we feel the same way._

By his last word, he wasn't sure if the tears on Bella's face were just his anymore. He desperately wanted them to be hers, too. He wanted proof she understood the extent of his love.

Again, Bella did not answer. Instead, she dropped her hands, wiggled out from underneath him and stood up. Silently, as she did most things, she held out an expectant hand, knowing Edward would grab it.

He did.

She walked them to his room, her fingers warm on Edward's cold ones. Locking the door behind her, she walked Edward to the edge of his bed and made him sit down. All of his senses were zoned in on the small girl in front of him.

Bella started undoing the warrior sandals she'd borrowed from Alice.

"I hate Tanya. It's true I hate how she used to treat me, but I hate even more that you gave her your first time."

Edward said nothing. He'd known this, even though she'd said it in roundabout ways.

Bella shook off the sandal, setting it aside.

"I'm not a person who cares much about anything, but the Cullens, Alice, Angela, my parents… You're all people I care deeply about."

She set to work on the other sandal.

"I have a special drawer back at home where I keep every love letter you sent me before we started dating."

He didn't know that.

"The first time we had sex I hated it."

He knew that, too.

"But every time since has been better than sex ought to be. I've never once faked an orgasm with you."

He'd actually thought Bella had faked it once or twice.

She set aside the other sandal, slowly straightening up.

"That wasn't the first or last time Tyler Crowley said something so crude to me."

What?

She walked closer to him, getting down on her knees by his feet.

"I hate how romantic you are but what a hard time I have expressing myself."

She took off his shoes, his socks. She said nothing in the meantime, and Edward didn't dare breathe a word for fear that she'd stop talking.

"I thought going to the party would make you happy. That's why I wanted to go."

She got up again, taking Edward's shirt with her as she went.

"I didn't like you romantically when you confessed to me, it's true. But once you said you loved me you stopped being 'just Edward' forever."

Bella slipped out of her dress.

"I haven't been able to visit my dad's grave since we buried him, and it kills me with guilt."

Edward thought he was hallucinating. Fifteen years and it was until now that he was getting a glimpse into her real thoughts.

"I _knew_ you wanted me to tell you I loved you, but I'm…"

Edward didn't want to hear the rest of that sentence, so he shot up to his feet and gave her a bruising kiss, silencing Bella.

He took off her bra and panties, his belt and jeans and boxers. She let him shut her up for a while, then tried talking in between kisses, but he wouldn't let her. Instead he threw her down on the bed and sealed her lips any way he could.

"Ed—"

He checked if she was wet, and she was. She always was, and sometimes Edward wondered if she'd been made just for him. To _answer_ just to him. Heavens knew he was always ready to answer to her.

Wanting to drown out her missing sentence, Edward drove himself into her, knowing his length always drove Bella incoherent. He set a bruising pace, knowing Bella could take it. It was _his_ pace, and she was designed to mold herself to anything that was his. They were the perfect design, if only he could make her _see_ it…

"Bella, I love you," Edward repeated endlessly into her mouth, his match sometimes speeding up, other times driving himself harder into her. They were a mixture of sweat, tears, saliva and juices, the distinct smell etched forever into their minds. Fuck, he _loved_ her.

" _Edward!_ " Bella gasped suddenly, her back arching and pushing him even deeper inside of her. She was crying, overwhelmed by feelings that weren't hers and by words that were about to spill over.

"Fuck!" Edward rammed himself into her, prolonging her orgasm by rubbing her clit furiously. Twitching, she tightened so much around him that Edward came, spilling inside of her his essence and his soul. She could have them; he had no need for them anymore.

He collapsed beside her, and within moments, he was passed out.

* * *

Edward woke up at five in the morning. It was his practice alarm, but today he had the day off. Groaning, he shut it off, noticing a warmth on his chest.

It was Bella, still there with him, looking up at him.

"Hey sleepy head," she smiled tiredly. Looking down, he saw she'd covered them with his blankets at some point, and she had her arm and leg over his body, her eyes just below his.

"Bella?" he whispered.

She nodded.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Edward asked, suddenly remembering how harsh he'd been with her before falling asleep. Thankfully, she just shook her head in denial. "You're still here."

She blinked.

"Where else would I be?"

"Oh, I don't know. With someone you're treated with a bit more tact or something," Edward frowned, but contrary to his words, his arms tightened around her.

"Or something." Bella muttered, leaning forward and laying a kiss on his chin. "Who'd I run to?"

"Jacob," Edward, sour as ever, muttered.

She giggled, and the sound was so sweet to his ears his heart pounded.

"His girlfriend might have a problem with that," Bella said. "And mine might, too."

He closed his eyes, a part of him he hadn't known was raging calming down.

"He would," Edward admitted. "He's deeply attached to you."

"Hey, boyfriend?" Bella whispered, knowing he was being lulled back to sleep.

He hummed.

"I love you."

The calm ended, his eyes shot open and his neck twisted to bring his head as humanly close as possible to Bella's.

"What?"

"I love you, Edward." Bella leaned forward with another kiss, this time to his lips. "I'd crumble to bits if you didn't love me. I'm sorry for not saying it sooner."

It was magic. His lungs expanded, his head cleared, his heart grew, his stomach fluttered —hell, he wasn't sure which body part _didn't_ react. He wasted no time wondering if Bella was being truthful; she didn't say things she didn't mean. Her word was her bond, and this sentence tied her to him for life.

He attacked her with kisses.

He kissed her face, her neck, her shoulders. He paid attention to her breasts, her abdomen, her legs. He stopped in between them, burying his face deep in between what made her a woman. He lavished her in attention, then emptied himself inside of her again. Once more, tears had spilled from his eyes, only this time he was _sure_ that those on Bella's face were her own. _This_ time, they were happy tears.

"I love you, Bella."

He didn't kiss her.

"I love you too, Edward Cullen. So much."

He wanted to hear _those_ words too badly to do so.

* * *

"Laugh it up old man, I know you find it so damn amusing, don't you?"

Stare.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. What are the odds that I'd be the one doing the talking between the two of us?"

Nothing.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" She accused. "You had to go and get yourself stuck in this place so I'd do the talking, didn't you?"

Sigh.

"Well, guess what, you asshole. It worked. You made me be the verbose one between the two of us."

Bella Cullen cried, drowning out the flatline.

"I love you, Edward."

For the first and only time in seventy years of marriage, he didn't say it back.

Less than a year later, he apologized for the lack of response.

* * *

 **Ok, so, I just got struck by this oneshot. I sometimes get obsessed with these things, so instead of updating my other story, studying or sleeping, I did _this_ the last week or so. Hopefully, y'all see I didn't mean to make hateful characters, but flawed partners that had trouble communicating. It's too often relationships end because people don't tell each other what's ailing them, so I hope this extreme situation of lack of talking puts it into perspective for you if you feel like you're either Edward or Bella. Anyway, I wish you liked this fic! Don't forget to favorite, follow and review. :))**

 **Leah.**


	2. Outtake: Tales of Old

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a small amount of free time.**

* * *

 _Alright Edward, you can do this. There's a chance she'll say yes. Slim,_ very _slim, but it's there._

He had hopes that if he gave himself a good enough pep talk, things would turn out the way he wanted them to.

It was Saturday afternoon in his house. The sun was bright in the clear blue sky, the birds chirped and wind blew softly but constantly. Emmett was on a hiking trip with a few buddies from the basketball team, Carlisle was on call and Esme was visiting a bunch of houses for some interior design thing she had to do. Edward was never quite sure what it was his mother did, except that she left places much nicer than she found them.

This meant he was was all alone with one Bella Swan, presently blinking owlishly at a rerun of Scrubs, one of his favorite shows. Bella wasn't big on TV, but she seemed to like most of what Edward was into; so whenever he felt like revisiting a season of anything, his best friend was usually on board.

"I love the Janitor. He's the best character along with Dr. Kelso," Bella was saying, absentmindedly chewing on some popcorn.

Edward just nodded, his heart pounding a million miles an hour when he heard her say she 'loved' something. His hands were clammy, so he rubbed his palms over his jeans to try and dry them. They did, momentarily, only to be sweated up again within moments.

"Edward? You ok?" Bella asked worriedly, putting Netflix on pause. Edward was looking a little pale, a little green, and a lot like he wanted to puke. Maybe something hadn't agreed with him?

Blinking rapidly, Edward turned his body to face his best friend. Her hair was piled on top in a bun, and she was wearing sweatpants as well as one of his football jackets. They were a couple of months away from ending junior year of high school, and the cold in Forks hadn't let up one bit. Seeing Bella in his jacket did _things_ to him.

"Fine," he squeaked out, but Bella's worried look intensified. She didn't buy his shit for one moment, and the fact that he wasn't immediately sharing what worried him in turn made her that much more suspicious.

" _Really_?"

He had to give Bella credit; she conveyed a _lot_ in just one word.

So he gave himself a final boost and turned off the TV altogether.

"No, not really. There's something I need to talk to you about Bells, it's important."

Bella frowned.

"Is it about college? Are you… not coming to U-Dub too?"

Bella wasn't stupid; she knew that Edward could not only afford an Ivy League school, he had the football and grades to get him into one. She didn't, so she was going to the University of Washington. Edward had said he would, too, not wanting to be far from home, but she didn't know if he'd changed his mind. Bella hadn't spent more than a month away from Edward since their friendship solidified, and she was reluctant to find out what would become of her if her partner in crime was on the other coast of the country.

"God no, of course I am. That's not what this is about." A small piece of Edward, one that hadn't been fully concentrated on the task at hand, rejoiced. It seemed like Bella would care, at least, if he wasn't there with her for college.

"Oh. Then what?"

Edward turned his body to fully face his best friend, needing a certain level of comfort to do this. Her warm brown eyes just looked at him expectantly, her undivided attention on him. It had always been that way; even if she'd never been a talker, she'd always been a listener. She cared more about him than anyone else he knew barring his family. She was sweet, funny, smart, and so fucking hot.

The _second_ that Edward had come back from vacation in Hawaii with his family, he'd gone to meet up with his fellow about-to-be eighth grader. It had been a month and a few days, and Bella had sent him a text saying her braces had come off. He'd just _had_ to see for himself, so on his way from the airport he'd asked Carlisle to drop him off at Bella's.

Who had opened the door had been _not_ Bella. The girl had a brilliant smile, and boobs, and the hint of a waist, and the rosiest cheeks, and did he mention _boobs_? Stupefied, he'd let Bella grab his arm and tug his body and heart after her, ready to hear all about his trip.

"Edward?"

He shook himself out of the memory.

She was looking even more worried now, unused to her best friend not replying. It was expected of her, but never of either of the Cullen twins.

"There's something I need to tell you," he reiterated, and Bella just kept observing his face for clues. She had no idea, did she? She seemed totally oblivious to any possibility of the oncoming conversation. For a moment, he felt guilty —he was about to possibly shatter their friendship, although he wasn't quite worried about that. He knew Bella Swan and the type of person she was; no matter how awkward they could become, she'd do her damnedest to conserve the friendship. She cared about few people, and once she did, that didn't change.

"Yes?"

Here goes nothing.

"I—" he cleared his throat, shook his head at himself. "Bella Swan, you're my best friend. You have been since the Felix debacle and you finally started acknowledging I was Emmett's better half. But that's not all I want from you anymore." Edward started nervously, and to his utter disbelief, Bella still didn't seem to be caught up on what he _did_ want from her. So he ripped the proverbial band aid off. "I love you, Bella. Not as my best friend, not as the girl that puts up with my brother and I, not as a bro. I'm _in_ love with you."

He knew his answer before the first sentence had been finished. Her wide eyes, dropped jaw and stilled hand over the popcorn spoke enough about her surprise that she didn't _actually_ have to say anything. It was alright; he knew from the start he'd be telling his feelings to a girl with a crush on someone else. That the girl he was in love with was emotionally retarded, as Mrs. Swan liked saying. Because for as much as Bella claimed she felt things _just_ like everyone else, it always took her twice the normal amount of time to catch up on what, exactly, she felt.

"You're in love with me." Bella didn't ask, and she didn't degrade herself by asking why such a grade A dude would love her. She just thought it, a bit quietly, a bit angrily; she hated self-deprecating thoughts, but even _she_ could tell the differences between them. It was scary to think this, because never before had she thought to question her worth when it came to someone. Edward certainly hadn't even hinted at the 'honor' it must've been to be liked by him, but here her subconscious was saying it for him.

"I am," Edward nodded.

" _Me_?"

"Yes, you, the girl who still remembers the day that Cassie Cain accidentally brushed against me the wrong way and gave me a hard on in front of gym class."

May 7th.

 _Seriously Bella? All that memory and such useless ways to waste it._

"In all fairness, you never said anything the first time I stained my jeans with blood," Bella shrugged unapologetically, and though Edward saw absolutely no connection, he refused to give in and let himself be led astray from the conversation.

So he just blinked at her, hoping she'd get the cue that this was where she mercilessly tore his heart out.

He waited.

And waited.

And _waited_.

Of fucking _course_ Bella couldn't put him out of his misery quickly.

"Bella!" He snapped after five minutes of the girl just frowning and staring him dead on the nose (he refused to meet her eyes).

"Sorry, sorry," Bella muttered, shrugging half-heartedly. "I just… don't know what to tell you."

 _How about that you love me? How about that I'm the fucking love of your life and that sometimes you wonder if I hung the moon and the stars? That you often wonder, like I do, if I was made for you because there's no way any two people fit so well together? That every time you see me with another girl you want to rip their nails out the way I want to leave Emmett_ sterile _every time he 'accidentally' cops a feel when you two wrestle? That you tell no one but me your secrets, or at least the ones you don't think Alice will understand? That you wish you could be forced into a deserted island with me just so you could show me endlessly your love?_

None of this is it.

"It's just… I'm not _in_ love with you, Edward," Bella whispered, and even as his heart shattered, Edward saw her hands clench into tight fists. She was holding everything in, probably thinking that she had no right to feel hurt when she was breaking his heart. "I've never seen you _that_ way."

His heart might as well have crumbled to dust.

"I know, Bella. I just… needed to tell you," he mumbled, getting up. Popcorn fell to the floor, probably joining his stomach. "It was selfish of me, I'm sorry."

" _No_!" Bella uncharacteristically raised her voice, her hand snapping out to enclose his wrist, not letting him take another step. "Don't say that. Thank you for telling me."

Hand shaking, he clasped it over Bella's, trying to pry it off. Her fingers were deceptively tight, though, and he only managed a finger before giving up. He still avoided looking her directly, hating to think of what face she could be making. Did she resent him? Did she wish she hadn't come today, wished she'd been meaner to him so he'd never have had these feelings? She was just being nice right now, Edward knew, by not denouncing their friendship. She wasn't that kind of person. The kind of person that cruelly tore your heart out and threw it down the drain.

No, she was much softer.

There was a reason why he loved her, after all.

"Let me go," Edward mumbled, but the order carried no real petition. He didn't want her to stop touching him, ever, and if this could be the last time she willingly touched him, he wanted to relish in it as much as he could. He loved her so fucking much he was willing to scald his skin with her love.

It was ironic, being hurt by love.

Or maybe it was an Alanis Morisette-type of ironic?

"I don't want _you_ to hate me," Bella whispered, the heartfelt words being heard in every fiber of his soul. Selfish as telling her how he loved her had been, it also meant that he could hear _this_ ; hear the hint of feelings for him buried so deep that no one knew they were there.

But now he did.

In the act of utmost selfishness, Edward decided that he'd make Bella see it. He'd bring out that small, almost microscopic feeling inside of Bella Swan and make her see it. He'd let her see just how much she loved him, because his sanity depended on it. His love for this quiet girl gave him the courage to get his heart broken again and again on the off chance that one day, hopefully, she'd be just as in love with him as he was with her.

* * *

 _And time went on_

* * *

"Yo, dude, aren't you tired of asking her out every fucking day?" Emmett questioned his twin one night while they were playing a hardcore round of Halo. As always, Edward was crushing it and the big oaf needed to distract his opponent somehow.

"Nah man, she's close to cracking. I'm like super close to breaking her down," Edward said with confidence he didn't have. Bella was hella killing him.

"Bro, you've been at it for like a year or something, and college isn't making it any easier. That guy Newton has his eye set on Bells, and I hear he's a persistent one," Emmett supplied the information helpfully, though no one asked. Really, he thought he was being helpful.

Edward scoffed.

"Em, you just said yourself that I've been wearing Bella down forever. No way she'll cave that easily for that douche." Not that Mike was _really_ a douche, but he wanted his Bella damn it, and that made him suck. "Besides, I've got the perfect idea for next week."

Emmett questioned his brother's statement, wondering out loud what he meant.

"Oh, you'll see my man."

(He wouldn't)

His confidence faltered though when the next day he found Bella willingly engaging with Newton. It wasn't that it was an important-looking interaction, but the fact that Bella Swan, the epitome of anti-social human, was talking to the nut meant something incredibly disturbing for Edward.

So, faking ignorance, he strutted over to the pair and slung an arm around Bella's shoulders.

"Newton, what's up?" Edward asked, raising a fist with the arm not otherwise occupied. Newton flickered his eyes between Bella and the slung arm before finally bumping Edward's fist.

"Edward, man, nothing much. I was just talking to Bella about one of our assignments, but I've gotta run now. See you later, Bella," Mike flashed her a nervous smile, his eyes flickering briefly to Edward's before scattering away.

Scowling, Bella turned to look up at Edward.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Do what?" Edward asked innocently. "I just came to say hi, you know."

She rolled her eyes, clearly not believing him. As always, she was right not to.

"Why were you talking to him? You don't even like the guy." Edward continued, though he hadn't known it was more of Mike saying things and Bella nodding or shaking her head. Still. He should've guessed.

"He's an ok guy. We were talking about a class." Bella repeated Mike's earlier words, knowing that if she told Edward he'd asked her out to one of the frat parties, he'd freak.

Unfortunately for her, Edward was reaching the end of his patience despite what he'd told his better half. It had been over a _year_ of incessant love confessions, and truth be told, he didn't really feel like he had made any progress. She appeared to respond to him the same way she always had, treating him pretty much the same as she treated her other boy friends. A part of him wondered if this is what Bella thought of him, too; that he was an 'ok guy'.

So Edward sagged, all the motivation he'd had hours ago suddenly escaping his body.

"Oh," he mumbled, letting go of her shoulders. Instantly, she missed the warmth. "Alright."

Bella was confused.

Edward, her friend-but-probably-more, was usually a lot more persistent about her talking to any boy that wasn't Emmett or Jasper. Who was this person that had shrugged off Mike's flirting? Even _her_ oblivious self could tell the blond had a thing for her.

So why had he just accepted it?

"I'm going with Jazz and Em to the frat party tonight," Edward said dejectedly. "So I don't know if I'll be alive enough tomorrow to give you a ride to the volunteering place."

 _Oh_.

Bella's good spirits kept dropping.

"Who's designated driver?" Bella asked, as always worried about responsible drinking.

"Jasper. Alice said she'd hang him by the balls if he arrived at brunch with her parents hungover tomorrow." Edward chuckled despite himself. "He's so whipped."

Bella stayed quiet, because she could hear the jealousy beneath his words. It almost sounded like Edward envied Jasper's devotion to his girlfriend. Or was it the girlfriend herself? No, Bella couldn't let herself think that; it wasn't Alice he wanted. It never had been.

"He is," Bella agreed, having seen the couple first hand as well. "Edward… are you ok? You seem—"

They were interrupted by a small body crashing into Edward.

"Eddie!" The chipmunk squealed, nearly bursting Bella's eardrums. "Found you!"

Fuck, she had. Edward had been avoiding Irina Denali, Tanya's cousin, for the better part of their short college run. Most days he shook her off; other days he had to tough it up.

"Irina," Edward gave her what he hoped was a smile and not a grimace, doing his best to subtly shake off her claws that held onto his arm. No luck. "Hey, remember Bella?"

Irina cast a quick overview of the brunette, and whatever she found, she wasn't impressed because her smile became wider.

"Hey Bella! Nice to see you again," Irina chirped.

 _Fuck you,_ thought Bella, surprising herself. She wasn't one for violent thoughts, but the fact was, this girl was grating on her nerves. Something about the way she looked at Edward, who had yet to shake her off, bothered her. Of course she knew of who she was related to, and it didn't exactly help things.

Instead of saying anything, Bella just nodded in acknowledgement. She didn't trust what words could come out of her mouth, and despite it all, she'd never been one for hurtful words.

Irina said something or other to Edward, who responded with polite words, though Bella wasn't sure what was discussed, and by the time the strawberry blonde left, Bella was plagued with questions.

 _Why was she so chummy with you? Why didn't you shake her off violently? Why did you smile at her or engage her in conversation? Why are you so friendly to anything that moves? Do you still like me, or was that an offer limited by time? Have you slept with Irina, or do you plan to? Do you ever kiss girls that aren't me at these parties, even if it's just because you're drunk? Do you still like me even though I'm so stubborn?_

She asked none of these.

Partly out of fear of the answers, and partly because it just wasn't in her nature.

When Bella said nothing, Edward sighed in defeat. He felt like boulders were suddenly placed on top of his shoulders, and they whispered words of discouragement and self-pity.

"Bella," Edward sighed, and the way his shoulders dropped alarmed her. "Do you even like me enough to go out with me?"

Bella didn't say anything, and this only agitated Edward further.

Agitated and broke him.

"Fine," he said, pressing his lips together in barely suppressed fury. Bella tried not to flinch, but it was hard; the last time he'd been so angry with her it had been when she'd accidentally bumped his Volvo when parking behind him, and he'd forgiven her pretty quickly. He didn't seem like he'd forgive her anytime soon. "Have it your way. I'll stop pressuring you to go out with me, Bella. I'm sorry I've been such a pain for so long."

Edward stomped off, and the romantic in him hoped against hope Bella would run after him, tug him back and tell him she was just as desperately in love with him as he was with her. But Alas, this never came to be, and the further away he got from the woman he loved the further his heart cracked in two.

* * *

"I think I hurt him," Bella admitted later that night, watching as Alice painted her right toe nails and Angela her left ones. Both girls glanced at each other, then their oblivious friend, and sighed.

"Bella, he's been telling you how much he loves you every day for the last year. More, even," Alice said slowly, trying to think of the best way to say this. "And all you've done in return is…?"

Bella blinked.

"Nothing," Angela hinted helpfully, and ducked when a pillow was thrown her way. "Hey!"

"I have," Bella defended herself. Both girls arched an eyebrow. "I, uh, let him touch me?"

They rolled their eyes.

"You've let Emmett inspect your ass just to prove that you have a funny birthmark, Bella, and you'd bite off your own tongue before having sex with him," Alice snorted, shaking her head at her friends. Brilliant, they were not. "As far as Edward knows, you've never stopped treating him like a friend."

That wasn't…

Bella groaned, realizing she was unable to name a moment where she hinted at Edward he was charming the soul off her.

She looked up at he ceiling.

"He said… he'd stop," Bella whispered, her heart hurting beyond belief. "He'd stop asking me out."

The two girls were beyond shocked, having thought the smitten boy capable of waiting a decade for the thickheaded girl to go out with him. Then again, Bella _was_ quite hard to read, and it had to be tough to not know whether your efforts made _any_ difference at all to the person you liked.

"Well, do you want him to stop? Would it bother you if he started going after another girl?" Angela questioned curiously; for as close as she and Alice were to Bella, they'd yet to hear the full extent of the girl's feelings. They knew it had to affect her somehow, how sweet and caring Edward was, but they'd yet to see that it had made a difference.

When Bella didn't answer immediately, the two girls looked up from their task again to stare questioningly at their friend. It had been a simple question that only required a simple answer.

"Bella?" They asked again, appearing to snap her out of whatever trance she'd been on.

"I want him," Bella finally mumbled, feeling it was wrong to admit it to them before saying it to Edward. Still, she didn't voice this concern, instead letting her friends squeal excitedly over Bella Swan finally catching feelings. Besides; she needed to come clean about her ability to feel every once in a while, lest people forget she was capable of it.

And she did so want Edward Anthony Cullen. He was sweet, and cool, and fuck-hot. For prom he took them to his meadow (where she had permission to go to only with him), brought music and Christmas lights to hang around the trees and invited her to dance. For her last birthday he bought her a limited edition of Wuthering Heights, Bella's favorite book, and cooked for her chicken ravioli. On Christmas, Edward took Bella on a road trip to the Grand Canyon, something that had been on her to-do list for the longest of times. For graduation, when their parents took them on a fancy dinner, Bella almost fell over when she took a look at her best friend in a tux. Edward getting accepted into a pre-med program, the biology major and for a football scholarship had made her so proud of him and see just how hard he worked. Edward Cullen was, for lack of better words, the boy that had her heart in a death grip.

Not that he knew, obviously. Bella was far too quiet and too self-conscious to offer the information so readily. She knew it was bad —it couldn't be as easy as Edward made it seem, getting rejected— but she had no way of stopping herself. Whenever she thought of saying yes to a date, her stomach fluttered with fucking stoned butterflies that threatened to eat their way up out her mouth. Graphic, but also true.

"Alright, I know what we need to do," Alice clapped her hands, and although 'we' sounded like too many people, Bella let her friend continue. "You, my friend, are going to ask Edward out on a date. Yes, I'm serious, and no, it's not up for debate. It's the least you could do for the poor fella."

And even though Alice was right, Bella dreaded how the event would go down.

* * *

By Saturday evening, Edward was absolutely miserable. He hadn't sent a single text to Bella, or shown up at her doorstep unannounced with Chinese food, or driven her to volunteer or done _any_ of the things he'd been doing nonstop to get her attention. The fact that he hadn't heard from Bella in roughly twenty-four hours was also despairing, and though he tried not to dwell on these things, he was still moping around the apartment he shared with his twin. Practice had been grueling, more so because he was hungover _and_ heartbroken. Getting home to shower had been a small reprieve from his miserable thoughts, but it wasn't as calming as he would've hoped; he'd thought he could use the shower to let some steam off, but whenever he pictured the only woman he was interested in having sex with, his heart became heavy and he couldn't finish himself off.

So much for being in love.

The doorbell was ringing desperately by the time he came out of the shower. Groaning, he slung a towel over his hips, knowing that it was his douchebag of a twin that had locked himself out again.

"Emmett, for the love of—"

But the innocent, wide brown eyes staring up at him were most definitely _not_ those of his brother's. Instead it was Bella, dressed in a skirt and pretty shirt, wearing makeup and with her hair done up, that was in front of him.

Looking him up and down again and again. Mouth hanging open, blinking rapidly, the whole shebang.

"Bella?" Edward's own jaw fell open, only to slam closed when a chill went by him and he realized he was half naked in front of the girl of his dreams.

"Um…" Bella's blush was starting to rise from the tips of her toes to the very top of her head, and she was suddenly feeling very, very hot. Sexy quarterback say what?

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I thought you were Emmett. Give me two minutes to put on clothes, alright? I'll be right out," Edward rushed out, leaving the door open as he, quite frankly, ran away. From a girl.

What was he, four?

Bella watched him run back to his room, and quickly she stepped into the apartment and shut the door behind her. Hopefully, nobody got a peek at the goods. Not that this should've been her worry —Edward was used to being seen half-naked by strangers, what with people going in and out of locker rooms all the time.

Still, when Edward came out of his room less than a minute later sporting jeans and a red t-shirt, Bella knew that it was now or never. She twitched on her spot but didn't otherwise move until Edward was standing in front of her.

"Bella?" He questioned, looking at how red his friend was, and finally being able to process how gorgeous she looked. "Why are you here?"

It was as good a time as any to remember he was heartbroken.

"Uh…" Bella shuffled, and abruptly she whipped an arm out from behind her and presented it to Edward. In it was a dandelion with a paper attached to it.

Frowning, Edward avoided looking at Bella as he opened the note.

 _Dear Edward,_

 _I'm sorry I'm so bad with words that I can't say this out loud, but I figure written is better than unsaid. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and even though I know this might not be fair to you… I'm sorry for the last year. I shouldn't have dragged it on for so long, but I was scared. I wanted to be so sure of your feelings I never stopped to reassure yours. I hope that you'll give me one last chance and be my date tonight._

 _Hopefully yours, Bella._

Edward shot tearful eyes up at Bella, who was blushing a terrible shade of red and now holding out a sunflower.

"Please, Edward," Bella said softly, hoping that the written words and her eyes conveyed everything her mouth could not.

He grabbed the sunflower, his fingers lingering against hers. The spark that always flashed between them when they touched was ever-present.

"You're unfair, you know," Edward said, but Bella simply nodded helplessly. She was. "I fucking lay my heart out in the open every time I ask you out and all you do is give me a note and two flowers, expecting me to let bygones be bygones."

Bella had no answer.

"Lucky for you, I'm a sucker for pain and not willing to play hard to get. Let's go on a date, my Bella."

"Are you nervous?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner, making Bella roll her eyes good-naturedly. "I mean, I know for a _fact_ Eddykins is, so there's no shame in admitting you're freaking out internally."

Bella cast him a dubious glance through the mirror.

"Ignore him, Bella," Rosalie accommodated a brown curl that had threatened to get out of place. "He's just upset that he won't be able to annoy Edward over you not dating him anymore."

It was the honest truth.

"Rosie," Emmett whined, lying back on Rose's bed. The movement tilted over a bit of the chips he'd placed in a bowl, but never being one to spill, Emmett returned to the bowl whatever didn't go into his mouth. "Be on my side for once, please?"

Rose rolled her eyes.

Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale had met one stormy night during spring break of junior year of high school. Basically, Bertie, Emmett's rusty old pick-up truck, had broken down to the point where he had to take it to the nearest mechanic instead of the usual one. There, he was received by the feisty college freshman that was Rose, who threw a wrench his way when he wiggled his eyebrows one too many times.

Emmett still wasn't sure that Rose had _intentionally_ missed.

Still, when they'd started dating, Rose had been all too willing to hate Bella to pieces. She practically lived in the Cullen household, and every time Rose made a surprise appearance Bella was for some reason either in a wrestling match with Emmett, draped over him or shoving her boobs in his face in order to plaster him to the couch. Rose's sole consolation had been Edward, staring at the two with a disinterested face chewing on popcorn, giving her simple comfort:

"I'm gonna marry that woman and even I know Bella would rather swallow a thousand needles every day for the rest of her life than ever kiss Emmett romantically," he would say, turning with a sympathetic shrug to the blonde. "I don't like it any more than you do, but if you say something, you can bet your ass they'll amp it up."

This had been a couple of weeks before Edward had confessed his undying love to Bella, and it had shocked Rose enough that she had relented on her jealousy and let things go. Besides; much as she'd tried, Bella's quiet nature and friendly disposition had made it near impossible for Rosalie to dislike her.

So now that Edward and Bella were finally going on a proper date a month after their first impromptu one meant that she and Emmett were tasked with dollying Bella up.

They were, in a way, the chosen ones.

(Read: Angela was out with her boyfriend and Alice had gotten _so_ hyped up that Bella had withheld all power she might've given over her makeup out of fear)

"But really Belly Jelly," Emmett continued, relentless as always. "You're gonna tell me you're cool as a cucumber about all of this? I mean, what's the last time you even got kissed?"

February 2nd, freshman year of high school.

Bella really wished she could've forgotten that particular date, but as luck would have it, this type of memory was both beneficial (for instance to tease people and for history class) as much as it sucked ass.

The glare that Bella cast him was answer enough.

Rose giggled.

"You know, I love that you're not a chatterbox, B, but sometimes it's kinda unnerving how everyone around you is already so used to filling in the blanks."

Bella just shrugged with a half-smile, which sent a clear message that there wasn't much she could do about it.

Despite her words, Rose turned to Emmett.

"Em, you do realize that it's been _three hours_ since Bella got here and she's yet to say a word, right?"

Emmett waved away her concern.

"Yeah, Bella mutes up when she's nervous. I haven't actually expected any response from her other than eye-rolls, shrugs and—" Emmett grinned at the middle finger that he saw reflected in the mirror. "—obscene gestures."

Something about having known each other pretty much their whole lives gave him insights into his best friend that felt as natural as breathing to know.

"I can be unpredictable," Bella huffed, making Emmett and Rose laugh. It _was_ consistent with who Bella was to deliberately foil someone's predictions of the future; Bella didn't usually mind being predictable, but she didn't mind either going out of her way to surprise others.

"Yeah, sure, Ms. Jack-In-The-Box," Emmett chuckled, his teasing cut off by the sudden ringing of the doorbell. "That would be the ugly zygote at the door." Emmett rose from the bed. "I'm so glad we were two separate eggs. I'd hate to look like Edwina."

Emmett left to go open the door, and Bella met Rose's gaze in the mirror.

"I wouldn't have touched Edward with a ten-foot pole if he looked like Emmett," Bella whispered, and the guffaw Rose released could have only come from her time having dated Emmett Cullen.

"Is my date ready?" Edward called loudly as he approached the bedroom, obnoxious on purpose to make sure he wouldn't be intruding on something he wasn't meant to see.

"She is!" Rose called back, handing Bella the lipgloss she'd used for safekeeping and bending down to whisper in her ear. "Don't worry, Bell. You had a terrific time on your first date, and this will only be better."

Overcome with gratitude towards the blonde bombshell, Bella gave her a quick but nervous grin before standing from the chair she'd been confined to for the last hour and a half. The sight that greeted her was wholly welcome —a blue dress, made-up hair and simple makeup. Not too fancy, but not casual, either.

"Thanks, Rose," Bella mumbled thankfully, giving the girl a quick hug before making her way out of her bedroom and into the living room, promptly crashing into her date that had been trying to sneak in.

"Woah Bells, don't go falling for me yet," Edward chuckled, righting his date before she could hit the ground. Bella mumbled out a thanks, watching nervously as Edward pulled back to survey her.

"So? What says you of my masterpiece?" Rose teased, coming up behind them and leaning against the doorframe. She was really enjoying how red Bella was and how star struck Edward seemed to be.

He gulped.

"Thank God you don't dress up every day, Bella, because I don't think my heart could take it," Edward whispered, grabbing her hand and bringing it up to lay a soft kiss on its back. "You look even _more_ gorgeous than always."

He let her hand fall to lay on top of his heart, where Bella could feel it beating out of control. Her own heart threatened to burst out of her rib cage with how much it was growing for this boy in front of her; he wore black jeans and a vest, which was a refreshing change from his usual sports outfit. Not that she complained whenever she saw his muscled arms or six pack. Not at all.

"I'm gonna puke," they thought they heard Rose whisper, but they were so absorbed in each other that they paid her no mind. Edward was thinking of ways in which he could tear that dress off of Bella, and Bella… well, she was thinking of ways to tear off everything on Edward _but_ the vest.

Bella clenched her fingers slightly below Edward's hand before flattening them and twisting so she could curl her fingers around Edward's, letting their hands fall to their sides.

"Oh, right," Edward suddenly recalled, untangling his hand from Bella's. This did not please her at all, but she didn't really think of it as she watched Edward scavenge in his pockets before flickering his eyes up to hers.

"Close your eyes," Edward commanded softly, and because Bella trusted him implicitly, she did. She felt him move behind her, place what was most likely a necklace around her neck and then step back to face her. "Open them."

She did, glancing down at the dangling charm.

It was a glass sunflower.

The type that probably cost a lot, and usually Bella would've complained but Edward shut her up.

"It's a late birthday gift coupled with something to remember our first date by," Edward explained, pulling out a Polaroid with the sunflower she'd given him in a vase. "I just thought it'd be nice to give you photographs to commemorate special occasions."

Bella quirked up an eyebrow, not letting on just how fucking touched she felt by the gesture. The necklace was beautiful, but the photograph took her breath away —Edward really liked photography, and he'd always said it'd have been what he'd dedicate himself to if he hadn't settled on medicine.

"We've only gone on one date."

Edward shrugged.

"First of many. I told you I loved you, Bella, and that's not ever changing. You can bet your sweet ass I'm gonna make it my life's mission to fill up albums with pictures that mean something to us."

He would.

He'd give her a Polaroid for every year together, for their wedding, for their first jobs, their first house, the birth of their children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. Every time their life spun, he gave her a picture that captured something special to them, thanking her for the role she'd played in making his life that much better.

At that moment, Bella felt the words resonate with confidence and truth, and all she could do was wrap her arms around Edward's neck, kiss his cheek and thank him for the thoughtful gift. She was truly blessed with having his heart.

"Should we tell them we're still here?" Emmett mock-whispered to his girlfriend, who'd moved to her boyfriend's side so they could, together, intrude on the sweet moment.

Edward groaned, letting Bella move off of him.

"You asses," he said, grabbing Bella's hand again. "Thanks for helping Bella, but don't overdo it dear twin of mine."

Emmett raised his hands in a gesture that clearly stated 'it wasn't me it was Rose take it up with her'.

Well, clear to Edward, who huffed in response and tugged Bella behind him.

"Thanks!" She called back, chuckling as she was lead away by her sweet boy.

"Thank you for tonight," Bella whispered to Edward, swinging their twined hands between them. His hands were warm, a nice contrast to her ever-freezing hands. She was leaning her head against his arm, seeing as his shoulder was just out of reach for her short self. Edward turned his head to lay a kiss on the top of her head, feeling his heart accelerate at her sweetness.

"Believe me when I say it's my pleasure," Edward returned, squeezing her hand. He plucked the keys out of her hands, which she'd taken out of her purse in preparation to open her dorm room. "Angela's staying at Ben's, right?"

Frowning, Bella nodded.

Edward practically led them skipping all the way to the third floor which hosted her room, and though Bella tried not to, she couldn't help giggling at Edward's excitement.

"Come on slowpoke," Edward laughed, tugging her along at an impossible pace until they were hurrying inside of her room.

"I'm not having sex with you yet," Bella said as soon as they made it in, needing to make sure he wasn't thinking of anything that was too far out of her comfort zone for a first date.

Edward barked out a laugh, closing the door behind her and caging Bella against the wood.

"Really? You think I'll try to get in your pants when I haven't even kissed you yet?"

Bella begged to differ.

"Technically, we—"

Edward shut her up with a kiss, and Bella forgot all about the technicality of them having already kissed once in the eighth grade when Siobhan made them kiss as punishment for Bella refusing a dare. Bella had shrugged and smacked a wet one on Edward, unknowingly solidifying the crush he'd started harboring for his best friend.

This kiss? It was nothing like their first. This time there was nothing one felt that the other didn't —a desperate need for love, an increasing desire to consume the other, an inkling that life wouldn't have been complete if they hadn't tasted each other's lips. Bella let herself be pushed against the door, her fingers finding purchase in Edward's hair and his finding home around her jaw. He captured her upper lip, letting his tongue savor strawberries and bubble gum and even a hint of the pizza they'd just had. Bella thought she should sell this flavor —something that she couldn't describe because she sucked at deciphering scents but _knew_ it was all Edward and pizza.

"Bella," Edward let out a reverent sigh, letting his hands wander down to grip her hips and press their lower bodies together. Bella gasped, for a moment pressing closer, but then pulling away. Her head was spinning and her heart was threatening to run away from her. "Shit, sorry Bella, that was too much, wasn't it? Fuck."

They were both breathing hard.

"Um, guys?" A voice interrupted them, draining all blood from their bodies. They turned to look at Angela, who was turning on her bed-light. Sheepishly, she spoke through her embarrassment. "Um, well, before you fornicate against our door, I just thought you'd like to know you've got company."

It took a month before Edward was able to be in the same breathing space as Angela, and another before he could be in the same room without hiding his face in his girlfriend's shoulder.

Bella had laughed herself to sleep.

* * *

"I still can't believe that Edwina's vows were practically a treaty and you just said like six words. Don't you feel even a little bit sorry for my twin?" Emmett was annoying Bella, who was on the verge of hanging up on her annoying brother-in-law.

Edward came up behind his bride, snaking his arms around her waist and grabbing the phone, which was on speaker, from her.

"I'll have you know that her words were perfect, you dimwit," Edward defended her, making Bella smile brightly and reach up to kiss his jaw. He hummed in contentment.

True enough, when the priest had told them to speak their vows, Edward had expected a little more from his bride for such a monumental moment. He spoke of how happy she made him, how he wished he would never live a day without her, how delirious he was that she'd agreed to spend their lives together. His speech had gone on for a while, and though the rest of the churchgoers were ready to clamp Edward's mouth shut, he'd seen in Bella's eyes how wonderful she found his words, so he'd ignored the glaring eyes of his best man that were hurrying him up. Then he'd stilled himself for the once-in-a-lifetime vows.

"I give you my heart."

And no, it hadn't been a speech, but to Edward those words had meant the world. It was what he'd once implored of her to give him —her love— and she gave it to him. He could do without any other oath, because in that vow he heard the promise of a happy lifetime together.

Bella heard the twins banter for a while, just resting her head back against her husband's chest. She loved thinking she was Edward's wife, that he was her husband, that they were now as committed to each other as two people could be in this society.

The wedding had been perfect, even though Charlie's absence had been palpable. It had been three years since his death, and Renée had recently started dating a man called Phil Dwyer; she'd been getting the spark back in her eye, but Bella knew that her mother would never get over the death of her first husband. She wished them the best, even if she felt it was too soon for her mother to be dating again; then again, in her heart, she would've never wanted her mother to find another man to love, despite wanting her mother's happiness. So it hadn't been Phil to walk her down the aisle but Carlisle Cullen, who'd been for all intents and purposes her second father. Emmett had been the best man and Alice the maid of honor, and Bella had seen how deliriously happy her friends had been for their union. Nothing, though, defeated the look of love and devotion on Edward's face as he saw her walk down the aisle. She knew her own face reflected the same emotions, and neither of them could help but let a few tears slip when she'd finally reached him.

"Love me," Edward had whispered.

"Always."

She hadn't needed to request the same of him, because Bella knew that there was no one else for him but her. She didn't need words like Edward, just actions; and he was always showing her.

She was pulled back to the moment when she heard Edward say his goodbyes.

Peacefully, Bella stood there for a while, feeling herself be embraced by the love of her life. It was late, and they could hear the sound of the waves outside softly crashing against the shore.

"Edward?"

He hummed, not wanting to make the effort of speaking.

"I love you," Bella said, her hands stroking his arms that enveloped her. "I love you more every day that goes by, and I cannot imagine someone who understands me more than you do. You make me _so_ happy, and it amazes me what an amazing man you are every single day. You… You're my soulmate, Edward Cullen. I've always liked who I am, but you've made me into a woman I _love_. I hope that I make you half as happy as you make me, and I _really_ hope you know that you're the only man I could ever give myself to this way. Bella Cullen is the best me I've ever been."

Edward couldn't keep from crying at her words.

He didn't remember the last time Bella had spoken so much at once, and moments like these made the words that much sweeter. He'd known from the start she never would've been so public about her true feelings, but he hadn't expected her to profess them in the privacy of their beach cabin, either. He'd always thought this kind of speech would've been the kind he'd have to wait till his deathbed to hear, so it was nice not having to be near death to be privy of her feelings.

Bella turned in his arms, softly cupping his cheeks and wiping away the tears as they fell.

"I'm yours," Bella said softly, making eye contact despite the embarrassment she felt at being so open. "But you're just as much mine, too."

They took their time; nothing could rush them in this time of sweetness and honesty, not even their feelings of lust and love. This was the first night of the rest of their married life, and though they were both impatient, both wanted to commit the moment to memory.

"I love you so much, Bella Cullen," Edward cried, and to their surprise, a few tears slipped past Bella's guard, too. She stopped undoing the buttons on Edward's nasty ass Hawaiian shirt to stand on her tip toes and give him a deep kiss. They were a mess of bodily secretions and endless love.

"I love you, Edward," Bella sniffled as she sunk down on him, gasping at the feeling of physical and emotional fullness. He gripped her hips tightly and buckled up, unable to get a single word out that could even begin to explain the pleasure coursing through his veins. Usually, in a reversal of roles, Bella was the more vocal one between them in bed, Edward being usually rendered into silence by awe and pleasure.

"Fuck," Bella moaned when Edward flipped them, needing to set a faster pace. Her hands searched for his ample back, finding purchase on his ass and attempting to drive him deeper into her. His own hands were busy grabbing the back of her knees, needing to spread her legs. "Edward, please…"

He bit her lower lip, brow furrowed in concentration. He needed to take them to Nirvana, and he could feel they were both close.

"Edward! Please, _deeper_!" Bella moaned, and Edward complied, changing his angle until he could feel a rougher patch of skin grazing against his head. Yes, yes, _yes_ —

"Fuck!" Edward couldn't help but come, his orgasm being forced out of him by Bella's own climax. They weren't always in tune, but it was incredibly satisfactory that they'd both reached their peaks at the same time on their wedding night.

Careful not to crush her, Edward laid on his side, Bella gripping him tightly for fear of losing their connection. Neither wanted to part for a second from each other.

"I love you."

The words were left unsaid, but their matching heart rates spoke the truth. As they drifted off to sleep, tired of an eventful day, music spilled from somewhere in the otherwise still night:

 _"…love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete, and I love you so."_

"Bella... did you just fart?"

* * *

 **Hi! Um, so, I hope I didn't step on any toes by posting an outtake. I promise this is the only one I'll do of this story; it's just that I was left with this feeling of wanting to show certain scenes from their time together. I actually debated with myself a lot about posting this because I'm so happy with the oneshot, but I've always liked reading outtakes and hopefully this was a good surprise. I love these two because I wanted to change the stereotype; usually it's all about how unsure the girl is that the taciturn boy loves her, so I wanted to turn it around so that Edward was the blabbermouth in touch with his feelings instead of Bella.**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed, favorited and followed this story. I was moved by the kindness in my feed, and specially by Debbie and by ForeverRobsessed. They recommended and shared my story, and they really didn't have to; this outtake goes out to them and their effort, hoping that they like what I did.**

 **P. P. S. This fic was nominated for the top 10 fic finished by august, and even though it didn't win (cue sad face) I'm extremely glad it was nominated and I thank whoever voted for it.**

 **P. P. S. I was gonna leave it on a sweeter note, but then I was like... Nah.**


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